Jitters

Well I have some bad news. We had to put Jitters down yesterday. She had been sick for a couple days, but was doing better on Monday. We decided if she was still sick the next day we'd take her to the vet. But we were too late. Tuesday morning we woke up to find Jitter in a sort of coma. She couldn't move, but she was breathing and she would blink whenever we'd pet her. We rushed her to the vet and waited to hear what was wrong. Her temperature was about 20 degrees lower than normal, and her blood sugar was very low. She was dehydrated and couldn't see. To run all the tests they needed to diagnose her, and to hospitalize her for two days would cost us over $600. And even after all that there was no guarantee she would recover, or if she did recover that she'd get her sight back.
So we then had to make one of the hardest decisions we'll ever have to make. We knew we couldn't afford $600, but we would have happily paid it if we knew Jitters would get better. But the doctor said the chance of that happening was very slim. So we decided to put her down. When they brought her in to say goodbye her tail started wagging when she heard Jake's voice. Our hearts broke right there, knowing our baby was still around but knowing we could do nothing to help her.
It's barely been over a day and we are finding it hard to go on with our normal lives. Jitters was constantly on our minds and we took her almost everywhere. We hate coming home because we know she won't be there to greet us. The smallest things are always reminding me of her, like dropping a piece of food on the floor, or even making the car horn beep when we lock the door. Our cat seems bored and she sometimes goes to where Jitter's bed was, looking for her.
I know for some people this might seem ridiculous. I would have thought so too until we had Jitters. She was so perfect. She had such a great personality and made everyone happy. She was my constant companion for over a year and a half. I find myself feeling like I'm forgetting to do something throughout the day, and then I remember that I should be taking Jitters for a walk but I can't anymore. I had a stomach ache last night but she wasn't there to be my little heater to help me feel better. She's not here to growl at me whenever I've been on the computer too long, or to make me play hide and seek with her. Our apartment is really depressing without her, and I almost want to move somewhere new that doesn't have memories of her.
I'm sorry this is so long. I could go on some more but I won't. Thanks everyone for your concern and kind words. We'll move on eventually, and we will get another dog one day but probably not until we have kids. I put together some collages of some of our favorite Jitter pictures. Hope you like them.

We love you Jitters.

Baby Jitters. The bottom right picture is the day we got her.

Jake and Jitters

Madi and Jitters

Sleeping :)

Fun shots

We'll miss you.

Engagement Anniversary

I don't know how much the rest of the world celebrates little occasions like this, but I like to! I loved growing up when my mom would randomly say, "we went on our first date 20 years ago today." I think it is important to remember little things like that, even if you don't do anything big to celebrate it.

I can't believe it has already been two years. The time has flown by! I still feel like a newlywed and probably will until we have kids. But in remembrance of that joyous day two years ago, I decided to blog about it since I never have before.
Every weekend when I was a sophomore at Utah State I would drive home to work at our restaurant, Zoggers. It was Friday, February 8th, and my brother Taylor and I had taken over the restaurant for the night so my parents could go home. Usually I would be anxious to rush home as well, but I knew that Jake was playing Halo with his buddies that night and probably wouldn't call me until later. I didn't mind though, since I would be flying to AZ next week for Valentine's Day. We had talked about getting married when I visited him for New Years, so I expected to return to UT with a ring on my finger :)
So Taylor and I closed up the shop and made the icy trek home. It was freezing so I was bundled up with my marshmallow coat and multi-colored scarf. When we got home the family was watching a movie, and there was Chinese food waiting on the counter. Normally I would rush downstairs to my room to call Jake, but since I knew he was busy I decided to hang out with my family. That's when my mom came up to me and said, "Madi, why don't you go get your pajama's on and come watch the movie with us." Ok... that was weird. But I took her advice and started toward my bedroom.
The first thing that tipped me off was my door. It is always open. But someone had closed it and hung a wooden heart on the doorknob. I stopped mid staircase, and mentally reviewed my appearance. I smelled like hamburgers and fries, my face and hair were greasy, my puffy winter coat might have been attractive in the 6th grade, and my clothes were baggy and messy. Ugh! So I ran back up the stairs, stripped off my coat and scarf, and attempted to make myself presentable. Then I slowly made my way back downstairs.
When I opened the bedroom door the first thing I noticed was the smell. I was instantly hit by a wonderfully fresh aroma of rose petals. They were strewn all over my floor, and there were two large bouquets on my dresser. There were candles all along the shelving on the walls, and kneeling in the middle of the room, holding a ring, was my beautiful and wonderful Jacob. He was smiling like crazy and I walked right out of the room from of shock and embarrassment. He looked so perfect and I was so gross! But he didn't care. I turned back to him and he asked me to marry him, and of course I said yes!

So that is our happy little story. My mom told me a few days later that she had asked what Jake's plans were for proposing and offered to help with anything, like setting up some place where we could be alone. But Jake wanted my family to be there and be a part of it so he proposed in our house. I love that about him. My family is my life and having them part of this memory just makes it that much sweeter! So happy engagement anniversary Jake! I love you beyond words and I am so happy that you are mine forever!